Arrival Stressors [PNG]

Ben and I feel so blessed and thankful that we have this opportunity to come to PNG before moving overseas long-term. One of the many blessings is that we are able to experience or get a glimpse of what will be stressful before being here for good. I know it's good for me to have time to process these things now, and to allow God to work on my heart in these areas.

1.     The Plane Ride: Being in a plane just isn’t fun. Add to that the fact that you’re leaving loved ones and your beloved country for a while (obviously, our trip this time isn’t that long… the next time will be much harder), children, pregnancy, security, customs, language barriers, or whatever else is uncomfortable… and the plane ride itself is a stressor.

2.     Jet Lag: When you fly across the world, you’re going to experience jet lag. Can’t escape it. I think we got lucky and didn’t have it too awful, but we still did to a degree. I was SO tired when we arrived… headache, could barely keep my eyes open, etc. Sophie was very tired and grouchy. Our schedule wasn’t too far off, but Sophie was going to bed a little earlier than normal and waking up earlier for these first few days, which affects my sleep too of course. We’re almost back on schedule though- yay! Another thing though is that Sophie has had weird freak-out moments while here… where she gets really scared over things she doesn’t at home. I think it’s because of a mixture of jet lag and being in a strange world.

3.     The Heat: It’s hot here. I like hot weather better than cold weather, so this isn’t the biggest stressor for me, but it’s still no fun. The difference between here and Indiana in the summer is that we don’t have AC to escape to. We do have fans, which are AWESOME, though! Sophie has a rash (little red dots) on her neck and under her neck and a little on her face, as a result of the heat- doesn’t seem to bug her, but she never got that in Indiana summer heat. You also just stink more. I wear clothes more than once at home before washing, but never here. They get stinky! I also don’t bathe Sophie at home every day, but here she needs it! The heat is the worst when the power goes out (which happens often enough, but thankfully, usually not for long periods of time) because then you don’t have fans… and if you’re sleeping, then it really gets sticky.

4.     Language/Culture: This will always be a stressor no matter what part of the mission process you’re in. It’s frustrating to not be able to communicate with these people. Not only does it make life more difficult, but it also makes you feel stupid. But on top of not being able to communicate with the people verbally, there are also SO many cultural differences that are stressful. For a woman, it’s frustrating here in PNG because you cannot just go to town by yourself or smile at a man. There are so many “norms” in America that you have to re-think that will make your head go crazy. This will definitely be one of the top stressors for me when we move overseas long-term.

5.     Bugs/Dirt: Bugs actually aren’t as bad here as I thought they might be, but they’re still more prevalent than in most American homes. They’re just a nuisance, and you have to bag up all your food super well because of them (had to throw away fig newtons I brought for Sophie because I didn’t bag them well enough and bugs were ALL over). And then, there’s the worst bug of them all which is mosquitos, and while they don’t tend to bite me often, there’s that whole malaria thing in the back of your head that’s giving you a good scare. And then dirt… well, I know this will be worse in the tribe, but it’s just hard for things to stay clean as easily when you’re here.

6.     Food: It takes up more time in your day. Every aspect of it. You can’t just run to the store and grab everything you need. So you especially can’t just have all the processed food you want. You have to think ahead about meals, which I’m really lazy about doing. I cook a lot right now, so dinner isn’t much more work than normal, but I’m lazy with breakfast and lunch often (frozen waffles, hot dogs, mac n cheese), and I can’t be quite as lazy here. The trick is to make sure you have leftovers though! No dishwasher, so dishes take a while.  And while I’m talking about how food takes longer, laundry takes a while too! You can’t re-wear clothes (because they stink), so you have more laundry. You don’t have paper towels or napkins- so you go through more cloth towels… which means more laundry. You change your sheets more often… which means more laundry.  And then you hang everything to dry… which means more time. And then you pray it doesn’t rain while your laundry’s hanging to dry… because you don’t want them to mold. And then because you wash your clothes so often, and because the sun is so hot, you can’t expect for your clothes to last as long. Which makes me sad.

7.     Your Kids: This will be one of the biggest stressors for me when we move overseas long-term because I hate when things are out of my control… and the way your kids handle moving overseas is really out of your control. I’ll be sad my kids have to leave behind loved ones, I’ll be sad my kids can’t have all the comforts of America… and then on top of that, they’ll be grouchy from a new environment and traveling and sweaty diapers (Sophie keeps getting grouchy about the sposie diaper she’s wearing, and I think it’s because she doesn’t like the sweaty plastic on her skin). I am thankful that when we move long-term that Sophie will be older and more of a help at that time J

8.     Your Marriage: I am pretty chill with taking care of household responsibilities without Ben… and about him being gone. We’ve been apart from each other before. But it’s still different overseas. It’s sad to say good-bye for a few days or weeks. He’s adjusting to all of his responsibilities overseas, and he’s not going to be able to help you in ways he has before if he’s going to get the work done here that needs done. You’ll need more communication than ever, yet might be too tired to even have any. This is certainly one of the most important “stressor” areas to not let get out of control!

9.     Communication Back Home: When you’re here, you miss people. I’m sure it’s far worse when you’re coming for years rather than weeks. Even more, you know everyone misses you and your kids. My problem is that I’m a people pleaser. I want to make sure no one feels like I’ve forgotten them. But truth be told, the internet isn’t always as good here. The time difference is a pain. You have tons of responsibilities here. You can’t just pick up a phone and text. And then you feel bad because you know people back home want to hear from you… but you also know this is where you life is now. I’m sure this will be one of the biggest stressors for me.