A Wife's and Mother's Role [PNG]

As a wife and mother, I've often wondered what my role will look like in tribal missions. During our time at Bible school, we had many speakers come through, and we often heard over and over the husbands say, "If my wife didn't stay home and keep up the house and home-school the kids, I would never be able to do what I'm doing" ("do what I'm doing" = learning an unwritten language, turning it into a written language, teaching the people to read and write, teaching the people the Bible, and translating the Bible). A part of me was always frustrated when I heard this. I love being a wife and mother... I enjoy cooking and keeping my house clean, I love spending time with Sophie, and I'm guessing that some day I'll really enjoy teaching my kids since I liked school myself. But still... I'm good at other things. I'm good at language and at English-type things... I think I'll do well at language learning, linguistics, and translation. And those are HUGE parts of what New Tribes Missions does. So I didn't know how to reconcile in my heart that God had given me a love for and a giftings in these areas, yet I might never use them.

Going to Papua New Guinea for a month allowed Ben and I to get a very realistic view of what tribal missions is like and entails. Not only were we able to talk to a number of veteran missionaries, but we were also able to experience so much. 

I was thankful for our trip because I was able to make peace in my heart with what my role will look like. I still don't know exactly what it will look like. But I did conclude that I am a wife and mother, first, and I am okay with that, and really... I'm more than happy to be that. Being a wife and mother overseas, especially in a third world country, is more work than it is in the states. Cooking from scratch,  trying to make sure no one gets dehydrated, going to town/market (Walmart is wonderful, incase you've ever wondered), laundry, homeschooling is a must rather than an option... and I was able to see that. Even more importantly, I was able to see how important it is for my husband that I be a wife and mother first. In most (probably all) of the countries NTM works in, men hold the dominant role, so it is crucial that the tribal men are the ones who hear and acknowledge the Word of God if anyone else in the tribe is going to. And if they are going to hear it, then it is going to be most effective from a male missionary. In order for my husband to take this position, he must spend A LOT of time with the men in the tribe. He must be willing to go on hunting trips with them, cut down trees with them, visit neighboring tribes with them (which can mean overnight trips), etc. Through these types of experiences, Ben will not only learn the language well, but he will also gain respect and friendship with the men of the tribe which will have a key role when it comes time to share the gospel.

So seeing this, I've accepted that I am first and foremost a mother, and that truly, this role will be extremely important for me to accept in order for the gospel to get to our tribe as fast as it can.

But I was also encouraged that this is not all  I have to be. I was encouraged that my memory is better than I thought. I know I used to have a good memory... but since becoming a mother, I feel like half of my brain cells have died. However, while in Pei, I was encouraged that I was able to remember words that the Pei people taught me without having to write them down. I even still remember almost all of the words that they taught me, a couple of weeks later. That's encouraging.

I was also encouraged because I talked with several missionary wives who are in the process of phasing out of their tribes with their families (they have finished translating and are establishing national elders for their tribal churches), and while none of them said they were 100% fluent, a number of the ladies told me that they were fluent enough to be able to communicate well with the ladies and understand all that was said to them. This is cool and exciting. But ALSO, several of them talked about how they helped with the translation work. Double cool and exciting. And they did all of this while maintaining their homes and families.

I don't know exactly how God is going to use me when Ben and I move overseas. Maybe I'll get to do more than I hope, and maybe I'll only be able to do less. But I do know that I've found peace with the fact that God will guide us as a family and show us how much we can handle. And I know that he won't allow these gifts and passions to go unused, whether they are used in ways that I envision now or not.

Sophie helping Mama cook

Shredding up a chicken... but first, cleaning him up

Market time! Sophie didn't love being grabbed at in the heat

She loved making cinnamon rolls best... I wonder why

Arriving in Pei... these were not tears of joy

Eating some Sepik fruit with Pei people

Cooking pizza in Pei

On our way home from Pei- Sophie fell asleep between the boat and plane rides