June too Soon

In my opinion, June has come far too soon!

There are reasons I'm excited that June is here...
1. My best friend Abbey and her son, "Baby Wesley," are coming to visit from California!!
2. My sister is due at the end of this month with her son, Blake (I'm finally going to be an Auntie!)
3. The ladies in my Life Group are doing a fun pamper outing in honor of one who is pregnant among us :)
4. It's summer!!!!!!!!!

There are other reasons I'm NOT excited that June is here...
1. I'm getting my wisdom teeth out (not too scared since they're already through, but not looking forward to the bill. Honestly, if you could pray for my teeth, I would be appreciative. We've spent way more money on them in the last 2 years than we would have liked to... thankfully, Ben has awesome teeth).

But mostly, I just can't believe that June is already here!
We're nearly half-way through the year!
My baby is already 4 months old!
We leave in 2 months to pack up our lives again and head out to Missouri (we're SO excited about continuing our training toward tribal missions, but saying good-bye is never easy).

Ben and I have a very packed summer and intend to pack it with even more (we're starting to meet with individuals and small groups about our missions' plans... if you'd like to hear more, don't hesitate to ask- we ARE busy, but this is the stuff we need to be busy with). Between work (he's working lots of hours at the RV factory and I'm babysitting), church (we're involved in several extra things over the summer but we are now done teaching senior high youth group- a bittersweet thing), kids (those two pretty girls God has entrusted us with), summer fun things (the 4H fair, camping, graduation parties, weddings, a 2-day getaway for our 5-year anniversary, the zoo, a 25K/50K bike ride my sister just talked us into, family pictures), sharing about our missions' plans (our state-side partners are so crucial to getting the gospel to the nations), moving (story of our lives), and people (lots and lots of people- loved ones galore that we want to see before moving 10 hours away)... these next two months are going to be crazy!

We praise God for our health that we CAN do all of this... but we pray that we would not let our relationships with the Lord suffer as a result of our busyness. We also pray that we will ENJOY these fleeing moments.

Remember when summer was a break???

Memorial Day Camping

Every Memorial Day we go camping with my family... Ben and I love to camp! I admit, camping was much easier before I had babies... these days, I spend half of my time putting a baby or toddler down for a nap or for bed or making sure a toddler isn't running by a fire... but it's still nice just to get away. I love the campfires and s'mores, I love ALL the camping food, I love playing games with my family (which I didn't get to do this year), I love bike rides and walks, I love spending time with people and not having the internet. This year, we joined 3 families from our church and had an especially fun time camping. We hope to get one more camping trip in before heading to Missouri in August!

Refine Me: Destroying the Idols

As I think on the past month, I am thankful for all that God has been doing in my heart regarding this "idol" area of my life... particularly my facebook usage. I just finished reading "Not a Fan," as I mentioned in my last post, but I've also begun reading through "One Thousand Gifts," and I'm so thankful for how God is using these books in my life to encourage me and challenge me in this area. One of the big areas both of these books has challenged me is by reminding me of the importance of  discipline. I will not magically begin spending less time on facebook by simply hoping to... I must be diligent in destroying this idol. Here are quotes from both of the books that have reminded me of this truth:

Kyle Idleman's "Not a Fan"
"Confess the sin of acedia in your life and then start doing the things you did at first [Rev. 2:4-5]. Get on your knees next to your bed and talk to God about your day. Turn on some worship music in your car and sing along. Grab a one-year Bible and start reading and meditating on God's Word. Even if you don't initially feel like doing some of those things it will begin to stir the fire that has grown dim... Recommit your love to God and then passionately pursue him." (ch. 9)

Ann Voskamps' "One Thousand Gifts"
"Daily Discipline is the door to full freedom" (pg. 84)

I truly desire to make my moments matter more for eternal purposes... to spend time with people, with God, and with my family ... rather than mindlessly scrolling through facebook updates or online parenting advice or pinterest pictures. I know it's worth it to get a grip on my life in this area, but I know it's also not easy to remove the idols that we've allowed to dominate our lives. I'm still struggling in this area, but God has been refining me in many encouraging ways... but it hasn't happened without discipline or without purposeful changes. So I'd like to share some of the practical decisions I've made to help me as I seek to destroy this idol:

Prayer - I can't expect my heart or my will to change on my own. I need help from the Holy Spirit.
Time with God - I've made a rule that I must spend time with God before getting on the internet (reading and prayer).
Pandora: There's something about good worship music that puts your heart in the right place.
Internet Usage Manager: I've downloaded "WasteNoTime" which allows me to make different settings. I've made my settings so that I can only be on facebook for a certain amount of time each day. There's a ticker at the top of my browser that I can look at to see how long I've been on facebook for. I'm constantly reminded of how much time I'm wasting. How's that for intentional monitoring?
Only Important: Did you know that you can individually edit what updates you see from people? Before, I had it so that I saw "most updates" from all of my facebook friends. With 1000 friends (I'm not really that popular, I've just gone to 5 different schools in my life, lived in 3 different states, and traveled to too many countries to remember), I could seriously spend hours a day scrolling through updates. It was ridiculous but tempting. I've narrowed it down so that now I only see "important updates" from most people other than family and close friends (so if you announce your engagement, pregnancy, new job, new hairdo, new dog, your kid sleeps through the night... anything that gets facebook excited and gives you lots of likes... I still see it. That's really the reason everyone loves facebook anyways right? Those exciting life updates from people you never see anymore...). Anyways, my facebook newsfeed wall is incredibly boring now. Kicked that time waster right out the door.
Accountability: I have several friends who know I'm working on this area of my life and aren't afraid to ask me the tough questions. They know I hate them a little bit for doing so, but it's the type of hate that's done out of love. :)
Out of Sight, Out of Use: If I don't have my laptop, then I can't use facebook... or at least, it's much trickier (I don't have a phone with a data plan which helps!). So when I go to hang out with family, I don't take my laptop unless I'm absolutely going to need it (I used to always take it). The other night was a long day and Ben wasn't home and I just wanted to sit down and waste time on the internet, so instead I packed up the girls, and we drove to the park. Some times, you just need to run away.

And you know what? The more I work on this area of my life and "improve," the more I realize I still need more work... I'm still so far from loving God the way I should, the way he deserves.

Some encouraging and challenging verses as I allow God to work in my heart in this area:

Colossians 3
"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Put to death therefore what is earthly in your: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry."

Matthew 6:24
"No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other."

Galatians 5:16-26

"So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other."

Lord, Refine me. Even when it hurts or when it's hard, I pray that you would refine me. Do not allow idols to rule my life. I pray that my heart and soul would long after you and you alone.

Idols: A Reflection Post

This past week I've gone without facebook. It's a little silly... and embarrassing... how hard it has been. The first couple of days, I kept automatically going to facebook when I got on my computer, so I had to log out of facebook so that I wouldn't keep going to my facebook page. Then there were a couple of times that I wanted to tell someone something but realized I didn't have their phone numbers. So I thought, "Oh, it'll be ok if I just go on facebook to message them to get their numbers." But then I thought about it and realized what I wanted to tell them wasn't that important. They were things that I could wait to tell them until I am back on facebook. I only thought it was urgent because I'm used to being able to communicate with people at the click of a button. I'm not used to having to wait.

Here's my honesty: Through reading "Not a Fan" (Kyle Idleman), spending time in the Word of God, prayer, and interactions with fellow Jesus followers, I've felt convicted in the amount of time I spend on facebook. At first I ignored the conviction for several reasons.
1. It's such a small thing... you know, compared to drunken parties and worshiping money. But I know deep down that's not true. An idol is an idol. And the first commandment says, "You should have no gods before me." 
2. Everyone's doing it. Everyone is on facebook... plus most people have a hundred other social media outlets too. There are tons of Christians "worse" than me. I mean, I don't even have a smartphone, so that's got to be a point in my favor. But God doesn't compare. He couldn't care less how "good" I am compared to others. He just looks at my heart alone and says, "Alisha, do YOU love me more?"
3. There's good parts about facebook. It's not like looking at pornography where there's nothing positive about it. I mean, I'm interacting with people... communicating with friends and family who live far away. But there are many things in this world that are good that can be used wrongly. 
4. I hate admitting that I'm not perfect. And this is an are where I'm certainly not perfect.

And as God was working on my heart, I realized that because I was trying to justify my use of facebook, this proved that it had become an idol.

So it does me no good to just take a week off of facebook. That's only good for one week. But I haven't felt convicted to completely give up facebook either. I knew during this time off, I needed to come up with a game plan though so that I didn't let facebook be an idol in my life.
I realized a big part of my problem is that I log on facebook first thing in the morning, and from there, I spend several hours online until I "catch up" on my social life. In order to make sure God is first, I'm now staying off of my computer until I have spent my time with God for the day. Ben and I are reading through the Bible with Bible Gateway's Reading Plan. So each morning, I will start my day off by reading the passages listed and praying, before logging onto my computer. I guess by writing it on my blog, I have a pretty large crowd to keep me accountable.

What idols are in your life? What things are your struggling to let go of? What things take up your time? This song below, by Jimmy Needham (called "Clear the Stage") is convicting and beautiful. Listen to it!

God's Ways are not our Ways: Sickness

Sometimes I don't understand God's ways, and those are usually the times that my trust in God is most challenged. One way I've felt this lately is with sickness in our family. Since January, sickness has been coming and going from our family non-stop. Sophie, Brielle, and I have all been sick several times. Usually it's a cold, but this weekend it was the flu. 

While I really, really don't like being sick in and off itself (and hate it even more to see my child sick), I have mostly been frustrated lately because every sickness that we have had comes on the weekend so that we end up missing both church and small group. Our purpose for taking a year off from our training with New Tribes Mission was so that we could invest in, spend time with, and learn from our local church. And since January, I have had to miss more church and life groups than what I have been able to attend (thankfully Ben has still been able to teach senior high youth group as his immune system seems to be better). It's frustrating for me. I miss hearing good sermons and having good fellowship. It makes me question Why? when this was our purpose for taking a break from our training. I see the months counting down before we head to our training, and I hate that I'm missing so much precious time with our church body. 

This weekend Sophie and I got the flu, and this sickness is what "pushed me over the edge" with my frustration. I know there's absolutely nothing that I can do about it though (other than taking vitamins and lots of soap)... so today I was challenged to remember that my relationship with God does not have to be stunted because of missing church. I had some precious time in my Bible this morning, just me and the Lord. And even more so, I'm reminded to praise God for the health that we do have. There are many worst illnesses that keep people out of church and fellowship indefinitely whereas this is just a short phase of my life. Some Christians are persecuted if they try to attend a church or fellowship with other believers. I've been reminded to never take for granted the capability and the freedom I have to attend a church that loves and preaches the name of Jesus.

[Poor, sick Sophie at her birthday party]

Slave

Luke 9:23 "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it."

I've been reading the book "Not a Fan" along with a college girl that I meet with weekly. This book has been challenging for me in many good ways. In chapter 10, Kyle Idleman (the author) talks about being a "slave." This part was challenging for me as I tend to want to view my position in Christ as more of a "servant." I help Jesus out, but I still have some of my own rights. If I accept my position as a slave to Christ, then I am saying that I am willing to give up all of my rights. I don't mind giving up some of my rights. Things like getting drunk and having a high-paying job aren't strong desires of mine, so I can say no to those fairly easily. But it's much harder for to me to give up other rights... my right to be treated fairly, my right to have good health, my right to interact with friends and family on the world wide web.  As a follower of Jesus, though, I must recognize that nothing is mine. Everything belongs to Jesus... my family, my feelings, my health, my plans, my computer...

I've been challenged most in this area in the way that I feel that I have "rights" to the ways that I am treated by others. I've been surprised in the past couple of weeks how often I get upset, angry, and annoyed with others, and I realized it's all because I feel like I have rights. I have a right for them to treat me fairly, I have a right for them to think the way I do, I have a right for them to help me. I also struggle with what I believe my rights from God are. Before Ben and I began heading down this path towards missions, I felt I had a right to own a home. God had to work on my heart a lot to help me give that up. But I still struggle in this area, when God allows others to have things that he isn't allowing me to have... owning a house, a dog, a permanent location, best friends to hang out with... and I'm recognizing it's all because I feel I have these rights.

When I consider myself a slave and let go of these rights, I am amazed at my attitude change.

Below, I've included some of my favorite passages on this topic in his book. If you want to read them, go be challenged :)

___________________________________________________________________________

"Followers are willing to deny themselves and say, 'I choose Jesus. I choose Jesus over my family. I choose Jesus over money. I choose Jesus over career goals. I am his completely. I choose Jesus over getting drunk. I choose Jesus over looking at porn. I choose Jesus over a redecorated house. I choose Jesus over my freedom. I choose Jesus over what people may think of me.' A follower makes a decision every day to deny himself and choose Jesus... even if it costs everything." (pg 145)"

"When we sacrificially deny ourselves for Christ's sake it is the clearest evidence of our committed love." (pg. 145) 

"A slave has no rights. A slave has no possessions to call their own. A slave in Jesus' day didn't even have a personal identity... But "slave" is the way many of the followers of Christ introduce themselves." (pg. 149) (consider Peter, John, Timothy, James, Paul, and Jude in their letters)


"Most of us grew up in homes where we were taught to study hard in school and in college so we could get a good job and make lots of money and live in a big house, drive a nice car, and enjoy great vacations. When you ask a child what they want to be when they grow up, the answers generally reflect that influence. But no one ever says, “When I grow up, I want to be a slave.” But that is what the Bible calls us to. The Bible would teach that the highest calling for you is to be a slave who denies himself and follows Jesus."(pg 150)


"Who signs up for that? Well did you notice in Deuteronomy 15 what the motivation is for someone to choose slavery? Look at it again. “But if your servant says to you, ‘I do not want to leave you,’ because he loves you and your family and is well off with you …..” A slave realizes as crazy as it might seem to everyone else, as ridiculous as it might appear to those who don’t understand, he’s going to choose a life of slavery. He loves his master and realizes that he’s better off as a slave." (pg. 152)


The word doulos appears approximately 130 times in NT.

Idleman, Kyle (2011-06-07). Not a Fan: Becoming a Completely Committed Follower of Jesus (p. 150). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

Acceptance Letter: MTC

Today we received our acceptance letter to New Tribes Mission's MTC (Missionary Training Center). We've been working on the application for the MTC for several months- it's a fairly lengthy application, plus we had to have 4 references each as well as a pastor reference and employee reference. We also had to have a background check and a physical. They are thorough. But we've completed it all, and we've received our acceptance.

So our plan? To head to the MTC this August! We are excited. When we graduated from the Bible school last May, we decided, along with our pastor's guidance, to take a year off from the training. It wasn't an easy decision. Many of our friends were continuing right on with the training, and now that we have seen and heard of the need, we really wanted to finish our training and GO! But this year off has been so good for us in many ways. We are thankful for this time here at home in Indiana.

The training center is on a beautiful campus in Missouri.

Here is an overhead picture of the campus:

Here is a picture of one of the classrooms where we'll spend quite a bit of time:

This view will be so refreshing :)  :

We'll be in Missouri until December 2014. From there, we'll raise the support we need and then hopefully, Lord willing, head to Papua New Guinea!